How would you rate yourself as a mom? Some women might say they are great mothers, always making the right decisions, saying the right things and having the perfect blend of nurturing and discipline. That’s probably one out of every 500,000 mothers speaking!
I’m guessing most mothers would respond like this: I tried to be a good mom, I think I did my best, I love my kids BUT there was that time I missed a baseball game and he hit a homerun, or I forgot it was picture day and didn’t send her to school in a new outfit, or there were the days of PMS when I yelled way too much and threw a few tantrums myself. Or the one my adult son won’t let me forget—as a young boy he told me he wanted to be a rock star when he grew up and I said “Pick something else you’ll never make it as a rock star.” He still tells me I crushed his dreams.
So, what is it about women? Why do we judge ourselves so harshly? Why is it we forget about the 200 baseball games we sat through, some in the rain, some with our work in our lap, some while we were nine months pregnant with a second child, but we remember the one game we missed? Analyzing women may come in another blog post. Today I want to talk about what our children really remember about our parenting.
They remember traditions. The special way you celebrated their birthday each year; holidays and vacations that you carefully planned; the book you read them every night and sometimes multiple times in one night; notes in a lunch box or messages of encouragement when they were in college; smiles, hugs and the times you lifted them up when they didn’t believe in themselves.
Children remember how you made them feel. The little stuff doesn’t matter. They may remember some of it, like my son, but with a sense of humor because what really matters is knowing they are loved, unconditionally loved.
If your children are young stop beating yourself up for the things you didn’t do “right” and just let that love in your heart shine through to your children every day. If your children are adults, don’t stop showing that unconditional love and support. You may think they don’t notice or are too focused on their own lives or families to care, but that is not true. We all need to be nurtured, regardless of our age.
On this mother’s day take a risk—ask your children what they remember most about your role as a mother. I don’t think it will be that one game you missed. I’d love to hear some responses so please comment.
One final thought. I can’t let Mother’s Day pass without giving a special thanks to all the women, with and without children of their own, who nurture and provide unconditional love to others who would not know a mother’s love if it weren’t for them. I know, I am blessed with two very special women in my life who nurture and love me, unconditionally.
Happy Mother’s Day! Roberta