Getting It Right the First Time

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How often have you stressed about something because you misunderstood what you heard? If you’re upset about something you were told – ask questions – clarify – be sure you understand. Communicating thoughts and feelings is complicated. We don’t always get it right the first time. This was my post on Facebook recently. The thought


Dissecting the Duggar Family: A Lesson in Child Sexual Abuse

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Slip back in time. You’re sitting in your high school biology class. The boys are waiting excitedly for the teacher to come out from the back room, most of the girls are squeamish and giggling –I’m not touching it! The long awaited–or dreaded–class is here, when each lab table receives a preserved frog to dissect. Today I’m


Finding the Silver Lining

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Stop It Now! Joe Paterno I never imagined I’d be talking about these two titles in the same post. Stop It Now! is a nonprofit group whose mission is to educate others on preventing child sexual abuse. I’ve referred to them many times over the years as one of the most informative and helpful groups


Family: Not by Blood Alone

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What makes a family a family? Some would stick with the traditional definition: persons closely related by blood. I refer to that as a biological family. For me family encompasses so much more, sometimes not including the “related by blood”component. The two elements I consider crucial to defining family are; unconditional love and emotional support. Unconditional love is


When Life Gives You Lemons Make Lemonade

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One of the first things you learn in any writing workshop is to avoid using clichés. However, its very tempting isn’t it? Sometimes they say exactly what we are thinking and hey, they’re cute, funny and sometimes even sassy. One website, Cliché lists 95 clichés just beginning with the letter ‘A’ so as speakers and


“I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings”

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I write this today out of respect for one of the most admired women I know.    Maya Angelou 4/4/28 – 5/28/14 Maya Angelou—poet, author, educator, actress and activist—used her lyrical words and distinguished voice to be a “song bird” of her own. Years ago, long before I remembered my own childhood of abuse, I


Say It Out Loud: The Back Story

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 Say It Out Loud: Revealing and Healing the Scars of Sexual Abusewas being written long before I ever dreamed of writing a book. It began as a series of journals kept during my six years in therapy for a childhood of sexual abuse. As my healing journey progressed I knew that one day I would


Be Not Afraid

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It has been a curious month for me. Every so often the phrase be not afraid streams through my mind. When it does I feel a settling of the fibers in my body much like when you open a vacuum sealed bag of coffee and the grounds settle into a softer state. I don’t know if


Misconceptions About Child Sexual Abuse

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In recognition of Child Sexual Abuse Awareness month I’ve decided to shed some light on two common misconceptions and offer suggestions on how YOU can make a difference in the life of a child. Misconception #1 “If my child were being sexually abused they would tell me.” Most parents feel they have a close relationship


Editors, Writing Coaches and Annie

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Today is Annie day. It’s become my favorite day of the week. Every Wednesday at 12:30 I have a phone conference with Annie, an editor and writing coach. Each week we discuss a 5,000 word portion of my book: Say It Out Loud: Revealing and Healing the Scars of Sexual Abuse. She comments and makes suggestions on