Mother’s Day is tomorrow and as most of you know it has been a bitter sweet day for me. Eight years ago I walked out of my biological mother’s house making the decision to sever my relationship with her. It was the only way I would have a chance at healing my scars from a sexually abusive childhood.
For years I would dread the coming of Mother’s Day. The Hallmark ads, flowers and greeting cards all reminded me of the pain. But then there were my own children. Being a mom is one of the greatest joys in my life. Hence the many bitter sweet Mother’s Days.
With healing and time comes a whole new perspective on Mother’s Day. I no longer long for the love of a “real” mother. That is because I know I have the love and support of other women who fill and overflow the void I used to feel.
Strength, unconditional love, knowledge, support, nurturing and honesty are all gifts a real mother gives to her children. Aren’t those gifts also qualities you see in other women in your life? They are for me.
My Aunt Grete, who I have written about in the past, ends almost every phone conversation with, “You know I love you, always have, always will.” She is a strong woman who lives her life the way she wants, rarely caring about what others think. I could use a little more of that fiber in my life and try to learn from her example.
And then there is Dellene. She walked every step of my healing journey right by my side providing unconditional support. That is reason enough to include her in my thoughts today but there is so much more. She is a nurturing woman of great strength and wisdom. I have learned from her to live life knowing we are only guaranteed of today. I live a better life and love more openly because of her.
Aunt Grete and Dellene are two women I know I could call at any moment and they will listen with honest, heartfelt support. They share their wisdom by example and their love by believing in me.
Even if you are blessed with a wonderful mother who you are honoring on Mother’s Day, aren’t there other women in your life who have those same qualities? And if you are like me, without a “real” mother to celebrate, don’t let Mother’s Day be bitter sweet. Think of how blessed you are to have other women in your life who support, nurture, teach and love you even though you don’t call them mom.
Mother’s Day is no longer bitter sweet for me. It is sweet with the abundance of mothering I give and receive every day. Enjoy, Roberta